


Leaves Fall (and trees withstand)

by flightinflame



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: Still Have Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Charles Xavier Needs a Hug, Charles Xavier in a Wheelchair, Charles You Will Be Drunk, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Permanent Injury, Protective Erik, internalized ableism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:26:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26618920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightinflame/pseuds/flightinflame
Summary: Charles is surprised when a tree starts to leave him gifts. Years later, when he meets the person responsible, he realises they're meant to be - but fate and Destiny don't always work hand in hand.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, Irene Adler (X-Men)/Raven | Mystique, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 48
Kudos: 70
Collections: Marvel Trumps Hate 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ruquas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruquas/gifts).



> This is for Ruquas, who won one of my MTH auctions last year, and has been betaed by the amazing InsertSthMeaningful, who has been incredibly supportive. I've been wanting to write this for a while, but this year has been hard. It's now all written, and I'll be posting a chapter every couple of days.

Charles was eight years old when he first ran into the tree he thought of as his friend. He was a precocious eight year old, and he knew the tree wasn't really his _friend_ \- that it was someone else, or simple luck, which meant that it changed everything. But for a little boy with no other friends and an awareness of just how much his stepfather and stepbrother hated him, the tree began to mean a lot.

Charles knew, of course, that the tree wasn't magic, that the small gifts he found nestled in the hollow in the trunk were simply meant for someone else. But when he found a pretty stone there one day, one which had had a hole made in the middle by the flow of some water, it felt like a gift. It was two days after his eighth birthday, and Cain had already broken most of his toys. He took his shoelace and put it through the stone. It became a necklace for him, one he wore all the time because he felt less alone when he was wearing it.

As a thank you to the tree for the stone, he placed in a neolithic arrow head his father had brought back from a study trip in England. It was very precious, but there were a few others among father's possessions, and the tree deserved something special. 

The next time he looked, there was a perfect replica of that arrow head, made of metal. 

He slipped it into his pocket and took it home, and hid it under the loose floorboard on the second floor - where it would be safe from Cain's anger or Kurt's hatred. And he carried on, leaving little gifts whenever he could.

That summer was the summer he found Raven in his kitchen, so then he had two friends. Raven thought that the tree gave gifts from the fairies. Charles wanted to laugh at her and tell her that fairies weren't real, but he knew that she believed they were, and that she thought maybe that was why she was blue sometimes. It felt like it would be very mean to laugh at her for those thoughts, so he let her say it was the fairies.

He didn't tell her which tree it was though. He let her think it was one in the big garden, and he'd check it every day, swapping out whatever pretty pebble she had found for an acorn or some candy or a little metal thing. But he kept the real tree all for himself, because it felt like that tree was how everything had changed.

One day, he was sitting out in the garden, playing with some of the toys he'd gathered from the tree - scraps of metal and copper acorns. Cain didn't like him having toys, and they disappeared beneath Cain's shoe, and Charles had been angry - he'd reached out with his mind, the way he'd always wanted to and never had, and he'd sent Cain running away from him.

The next week, he was sent away to boarding school. He tried to be brave about it, but he felt very scared, and very sad. When he left, he took his necklace with the river stone and his little axe head as a reminder of what had happened.

Raven wrote, every weekend, in the codes the two of them made up. She told him the tree had stopped providing gifts - and he knew it was because he'd lied, because he'd always changed things for her rather than letting her know where the real tree was.

He wasn't going to ever get any more gifts from the tree again, and that made him cry as he lay alone on his bed, far away from his fairy sister and his tree-friend. 

When he next came home, for the Easter holiday, Kurt told him not to stray too far from the house. He thought about it, but he decided that would be a bad idea - he was too scared of his stepbrother and stepfather to disobey. Raven seemed quieter, and the two of them whispered about her sneaking into his school somehow so neither of them would be alone.

It wouldn't work, and they both knew that, but it was nice to play pretend.

By the next summer, he'd decided that the rock and the metal arrowhead, and all of it, was just someone's silly trick. He'd learned a lot by then about people's minds, about how they thought and how they hated, about how people lied. He didn't want to hear thoughts all the time, but they got louder and louder, and games of pretend seemed further than ever from what was real.

He put the tree from his mind and got on with education, focusing on the fact that if he did well enough - if he passed all his exams, if he went to university - he could escape this hell and take Raven away with him.

He was seventeen when his Oxford acceptance letter was delivered to his dorm room at school. He lay awake, trying to reach Raven's mind, knowing that he couldn't. But when School broke up for Christmas, she was standing in the driveway to collect him, wearing mother's form like an old coat. She embraced him tightly, and he breathed in the stale smell of his mother, lost in the knowledge that she never hugged him like this. He held onto her, shaking a little from emotion, and when he opened his eyes it was his sister standing there, and he smiled and embraced her even tighter.

"I got in," he breathed, because that was the most important thing he could possibly tell her. A moment later, he risked a shy smile. "I got in, and you're coming with me. We're getting out of here."

She laughed, her eyes flashing yellow for a moment, and he was already planning what he would need to do to get both of them safely out of the country and towards somewhere safer, a place where no one would know who they were, or care enough to notice Raven's occasional slips with her powers.

He returned to his childhood room when they got home to pack his suitcase, his heart racing with excitement. He took the little arrowhead which had been his companion through so much and stored it beneath the floorboards in his room, to confuse people in the future and show that this was his home. That something tied him to it.

Raven appeared in the doorway, stylishly dressed in clothing she had taken from a fashion magazine. "How is packing?"

"Slow." He gestured to the pile of cases by the bed. "I'll be done by tomorrow morning though. We can't all just magically generate whatever clothes we need."

"Well, I suggest that that is your fault," she told him with a laugh. "You ready to say goodbye to this place?"

"The only good thing this place has ever done for me is giving me you." Charles shrugged. "I'd leave it forever if it wasn't for the fact I don't want Cain and Kurt to get it all."

That evening, when he had finished packing, he and Raven sat through one final family meal, as Cain sneered and Kurt criticised and his mother ignored him. It was easy to reach out with his telepathy, talk to Raven, distract her and laugh silently - it was something that was long-familiar now, something that was just a part of their routine, their own secret. Raven didn’t like him speaking in her mind unexpectedly, but she made an exception for dinner.

_Ready to go?_

_I think so._ It was strange, leaving his home behind. But it felt like it was time. He hesitated, feeling the solid pressure of his necklace at his throat. _Do you remember when we were children and we used to leave items in that tree?_

 _Yeah. It never worked for me when you weren’t there_ , she answered with a teasing smile. _I thought you just made it up._

_I didn’t… I just… I feel like I should say goodbye._

She rolled her eyes, but that evening she accompanied him as he snuck out of his bedroom to the tree, a note he’d written clutched in his hand. He knew he was being foolish, but he wanted to say farewell to something that had meant a lot to him in his younger years. It said a lot about how they'd grown that she didn't laugh at him or tell him he was foolish as he made his way there.

There was a folded piece of paper waiting in the trunk, dry and unwrinkled, as though it had just been placed there. He unfolded it, reading the beautiful script on the page.

“Hello, my name is Erik. Thank you for all the joy you have brought me over the years, Charles. I will see you soon.” Beneath the words, there was a drawing of a chess piece he remembered leaving there once, one he’d taken from his own set. It had been a black king, and in response he had found a replica made of iron. That was already included in his packing, ready to start its new life at university.

He turned the paper over and over in his hands, frowning as he tried to make sense of the non-sensical - there was no sign that the paper had been there for long, and Raven hadn’t known he intended to go. Cain, still a bully, would not have left a note here - and even if he had wanted to, he lacked the eloquence or delicacy for this.

He hesitated a moment longer, unfolding his own note which simply said _Thank you - Charles._ It didn’t feel like enough, but he had not brought a pen, and even though he was grown now he still feared his stepfather finding him where he should not be. Cautiously, he placed the note down and took a few steps away. 

He stared at the paper.

“Let me see…” Raven insisted, leaning up to snatch it from his hand. With a faint roll of his eyes, he handed it over to her, and she leaned in for a closer look. “You’ve got an admirer.”

“Apparently so.” Charles smiled shyly. “I wonder how he knew that I was going to be here this evening.”

“Maybe he’s like you?” she suggested. “He’s been prodding around in your mind.”

“I hope not…” Charles frowned. He didn’t want someone rifling through his thoughts without permission, and he thought this quite loudly and clearly to ensure that anyone who was eavesdropping would be aware of this. He didn’t mind someone speaking to him mind to mind, but he didn’t want them there without his knowledge. 

“You could ask.” Raven shrugged, walking back towards the tree. “We can see what there… huh.” She frowned, freezing in place, and he hurried over to her.

The tree was empty now.

He laughed nervously and made his way back home, no longer eager to discover what was going on at the tree. It all felt too strange, and he was moving on with his life, He didn’t have time to pursue childhood mysteries, even if he was intrigued.

He folded Erik’s note into his pocket and headed back to the manor, knowing that in the morning he would set off to University and a new start. It was easier to focus on that.

Erik’s note went with him to Oxford, and he kept out an eye for any Eriks he might meet, any sign that he had found the right person. It took time, and he met a few Eriks who didn’t feel right, and Raven found a few Eriks she didn’t even bother to introduce him to. He thought if he ever did find his mystery admirer, he would know immediately that this was the one. It was a foolish thought, a child’s dream, but everything about ‘Erik’ seemed like it was straight out of a storybook.

He focused on his studies, pursuing Natural Sciences because he wanted to understand mutation, wanted to know who he was and what was guiding his abilities. He had a few flirtations, spent time with his sister, and enjoyed being free of both school and his stepfather.

He graduated with a First, a rowing blue and no plans for what came next.


	2. Chapter 2

Erik had never believed in destiny. At least not until he met her. She appeared in his life on the single most awful day that he had ever had. He’d been eleven years old, walking back from school when a man he came to know as Shaw had kidnapped him. 

Shaw knew his secret - knew how metal danced for him, did what he wanted without hesitation or difficulty. He called himself a scientist, interested in those that were different, but he was the real monster. He’d already collected Irene, a girl of seven who was totally blind but could see the future, and a couple of teenagers - one who could control air and was deaf, another who looked like a demon. The final member of their party was a girl his own age, with skin like diamond, who had helped Shaw find him. 

Out of all of them, it was Irene who was friendliest, curling up beside him that first night and fumbling for his hand. “It’s going to be okay,” she promised. “Now that you’re here, we’re going to be alright.”

Out of all of Shaw’s children, it was Emma who was in control, in her diamond form impossible to harm. Azazel and Janos were wrapped up in each other, and Erik himself was angry and alone.

Irene alone had kept hope. She sat by him, her head on his shoulder. “Can you tell me about your family?” she asked softly. “My family were murdered, but… I think your family would be nice.”

“They would,” Erik agreed, whispering to her, because even if he wanted to curl up and cry, she deserved his protection. She deserved reassurance. He would give her all the comfort he had to give. She leaned against his shoulder and smiled as Shaw experimented on the older boys, and she told him it would be alright. He nodded and kissed her forehead and thought of his own human sister.

Shaw kept them somewhere where there wasn’t any metal. Until one day Irene came skipping in, and he could already feel the coin shining in her hand. 

“A lucky penny,” she whispered to him. “We’re going to be okay now.”

And they were. 

Shaw was easy to kill, once Emma helped. Irene had been right - that coin was lucky, and it was easy to slowly cut through Shaw’s skull.

Azazel brought him home. And Erik’s mama took one look at the four children standing on her doorstep, shaking and clutching each other, and invited them in. 

Erik had been missing for six weeks. In that time, his parents had looked constantly, and they were delighted he was home. They welcomed the rest into their life, not being at all disturbed by Azazel’s appearance or Janos’s silence.

A week after they came home, Emma approached, leading Irene by the hand.

“I wish we hadn’t had to bring you there,” Emma said quietly, and Erik knew this was her apology. He hated what had happened - but he could understand. Allowing Erik to be captured - guiding Shaw to him - had set in motion the route to their escape. Irene had foreseen it, and Emma had enabled it.

They’d had no choice.

He leaned up and embraced Irene, knowing Emma hated being touched. “It’s alright. I understand.”

“I…” Irene hesitated, then smiled. “I know there’s someone you’ll find one day. And right now he’s very lonely. Do you want to give him a present?”

“A present?” Erik asked with a faint frown. “How?”

“Azazel can give him to it.” She smiled knowingly. “He can put the present somewhere, and he’ll find it. You’ll meet him either way, but it might make him happy if you do that now.”

Erik frowned at her. “What kind of thing do you think I should give him?”

“Whatever you would like.” Irene shrugged, cuddling him and pressing her face against his. “He’ll like whatever you give him.”

Irene smiled, and Erik glanced at Emma, who shrugged carelessly. He headed to his room, digging through his box of treasures - a stamp from New Zealand, a scrap of metal he used whenever he was stressed, a dice, a stone with a hole that he had found on a riverbank and picked up because of the weight of metal inside of it, a fork he’d found digging in the garden, and a dozen other treasures. He picked up the stone with his powers, holding it tightly, and carryied it to Azazel.

That summer was fun. Almost every day Irene would send Azazel to fetch something, and he’d bring back something from that tree, and he would give something in return. He learned to hone his powers by making gifts - after Shaw he’d been afraid of what his powers could do, but for his future friend he learned how to control them again.

Eventually, his friend stopped leaving gifts, and he felt lonely, but his box of treasures was filled now, with precious things the likes of which he’d never imagined. He treasured each of them - an arrowhead that looked ancient, an American coin, an acorn and a pair of cufflinks. Whenever he struggled with nightmares or felt alone, he could look in that box and see that he had someone there for him.

Time passed, and they grew up. Janos and Azazel went to study at university first and sent back letters every week. They were married by the time Erik and Emma went to study - Erik to America, and Emma to Cambridge in the UK. Irene told him one day to write a note, told him that the friend’s name was Charles, that he needed to hear from him, something to give him hope. He left that note and headed to New York to study.

He returned home to Germany after university, took a job as a metalsmith and stayed close to his parents. He’d almost forgotten his box of treasures, too busy with creating jewellery and designing locks and the like, intricate movements of the metal he felt comfortable with. Most of the time, his memories of Shaw felt like a hazy dream, and when he did have nightmares, he’d pick up his phone, or often Irene would already be there to shake him awake.

One day, he woke up to find her sitting on the edge of his bed, his childhood box of treasures on his lap. She smiled. “We’re going on holiday together.”

“Are we?” He asked curiously, smiling broadly when she nodded. He had got used to Irene’s medling over the years, the way she would decide something needed to happen and make it so, but it wasn’t often quite this blatant. “Where are we going?”

“Oxford.” She tilted her head, a knowing smile resting on her lips. “It’s time for you to meet Charles.”

***

Irene had excused herself that evening with a smirk. “I have to go and flirt with a waitress.”

“A waitress?” Erik laughed. “You’ll break Mama’s heart, she was so sure you’d be the child to give her grandchildren.”

“Oh, I will be.” Irene giggled to herself and headed away, her cane sweeping the ground in front of her. He watched her leave, feeling a slight buzz of anxiety in his chest, and then headed to the nearest pub.

Outside, he found a rather distraught young man who looked close to tears crouched beside a drain, his fingers reaching helplessly into it.

“Is everything alright?” Erik frowned.

The man nodded, clearly a little drunk. “I dropped my keys.”

Erik hesitated. He didn’t show off his mutation, but he could feel the keys there. It would be only the work of a moment to fetch them. “I’ll see if I can get them out with a stick,” he muttered, looking around and grabbing a twig off the ground. He crouched down, using his ability to lift the keys up into the air and hook them over the twig, which he pulled from the drain with a flourish. “Here.”

“Thank you, my friend,” the man smiled at him. “You know, I… I could have sworn… the way your mind lights up when you use your gift is…”

He tensed, fears from childhood rising up in his chest, but he breathed through that fear - if the man could sense his gift, he was a mutant himself. Irene would have warned him if anything bad were to happen. He held out his hand, helping the drunk man to his feet. 

“Erik Lehnsherr. It’s good to meet you.”

“Charles Xavier,” the man replied, and then frowned, gazing up at him. “You said Erik? You’re Erik, aren’t you? My Erik?”

“I’m my own Erik,” Erik answered, already wondering at the man Irene had apparently been intending for him to meet for all these years. “And you’re drunk.”

“A little. I graduated… and I had no one to celebrate with. But you’re here now.” Charles fumbled with the buttons of his shirt.

Erik was about to make a comment about Charles moving a little fast for him when he saw what was at the man’s throat - the river rock he’d gifted him all those years ago, when they were both children, back before they’d even known each other’s names. 

“You’re here,” Charles repeated, leaning forwards to embrace him. “You’re here, and I’ve waited for you a very long time, my friend.”

“Come on,” Erik muttered. “Let’s get you home. We can go for a coffee in the morning, when you’re sober.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” Erik answered, letting Charles lean on him as Charles directed him to a bedroom in one of the colleges. It was a large space - one room containing a bed and wardrobe, another with a desk and sofa. Charles flopped down dramatically onto the bed with a loud sigh. 

“You going to stay, Erik?”

Erik considered for a moment, and then made his way over to the couch. “I’ll stay on the sofa. Keep an eye on you.”

“It’s a date,” Charles laughed, kicking off his shoes and pulling a blanket up. Erik contemplated bullying him into having a shower, then decided Charles could learn the consequences of his actions. He fetched him a glass of water, leaving it by his bedside, and went to lie down, curling up under a blanket that had been thrown over the couch. He was sure Irene would be alright without him getting back that night - after all, she’d brought him to England to meet Charles. The man was clearly clumsy, but there was something about the bright strength of his eyes and his casual confidence in his power that Erik found hypnotising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are reading this, please do comment - it means so much to me. Thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

Charles woke slowly the next morning, his head pounding, and painfully aware that there was someone else in the next room. He fumbled to sit up, scrambling for the water glass and taking a sip as he reached out to explore the mind that was in his rooms.

Erik.

Erik was here. He’d met him, last night, finally after years of waiting, and he had made an utter fool of himself. He groaned quietly, considering hiding. He was sure he had made a bad impression on the man he had been waiting for literally years to meet, and now Erik was going to storm off out of his life. Worse - Erik was stunning. Erik was stunning and he had found him crouched in a gutter trying to retrieve his keys.

He briefly considered whether it would be possible to die of shame.

“Charles, if you can stop projecting your hangover, I can go out and buy us coffee?” Erik called out, with a beautiful German accent, and he sounded awake. Charles sighed to himself, because of course the person he considered one of his oldest friends - a person he’d only just met - was a morning person. He groaned in answer, but made an effort to ensure his shields were firmly in place.

“Thanks,” Erik called out. “What kind of coffee do you want?”

“Tea.”

“Tea it is. I’ll be back soon.” Erik walked out of the apartment, and Charles briefly contemplated lying there whining before he decided he had better get up and get dressed, to make a better second impression than he had managed the first time around.

The bed looked amazingly inviting, but Charles showed the kind of determination that would have been beyond a lesser man, pulling himself out from under the blankets and putting on a smart shirt, clean trousers and a warm cardigan, even running a quick comb through his hair and cleaning away a few stray coffee mugs. By the time Erik returned from his bakery run - with coffee and croissants and a cup of breakfast tea, because apparently this man was _perfection_ \- Charles was presentable.

"Good morning, Erik. I apologise for last night, I don't normally make quite that much of... well, honestly I made an utter tit of myself, and I am so grateful you came back and gave me another chance." 

"Don't make a habit of it," Erik said calmly, but a moment later he smiled and handed over the coffee, stepping around Charles to pull a clean plate from the drying rack. "It's good to finally meet you, Charles."

"And you, Erik. You know, when we were younger my sister thought the tree was used by fairies or something - if you don't mind my saying so, it doesn't sound as though you grew up in New York, and I never met you."

"My older brother was a teleporter, and my youngest sister could read the future. She told me that you'd be important to me someday and that you needed something nice." Erik's eyes sparkled. "I spent so long agonising over what to gift to you that first time. And I have a box, at home, with all the treasures you gifted to me. I was so worried when you stopped."

"I stopped because I was sent away to school," Charles answered. "I just finished my PhD in genetics, looking at mutation... an entire family of mutants, with unrelated mutations, sounds fascinating-" Even as he was speaking, he could sense the sudden tension in the air, the way the metal near him seemed to almost vibrate with energy. "Erik?"

"Sorry," Erik answered, and took a deep breath, that tension seeming to fade. "There was an incident when I was younger. I know that you wouldn't mean harm. Anyway, all my siblings - well, other than Ruth - they're adopted."

"I'm sorry," Charles sighed. "I just get so enthusiastic."

"It's alright," Erik shrugged. "My sister Emma, she's a telepath as well. I know what she's like - she wants to know how things work, how she can make sense of them. I guess you feel the same sometimes?"

"Sometimes," Charles agreed. "Another telepath. Is she here?"

"It's just me and Irene - she's the precog - who came on holiday here. Emma is working in London."

"Oh, I'd love to meet her one day." Charles couldn't imagine meeting someone who shared his gift. "And what is Irene doing if you stayed with me last night?"

"She was off to woo a waitress, apparently."

"My sister's a waitress." Charles frowned, reaching for his phone, and Erik laughed a little. 

"No wonder she was so keen to ensure that we met then. It's alright. Irene is a wonderful young woman, I promise she'll take good care of your sister. You don't need to worry about that."

"I'm not worried about that, I'm worried what kind of chaos Raven will get up to given half the chance," Charles answered, biting into his croissant. "So what do you study?"

"I'm a metalworker." Erik shrugged. "I studied fine art in New York, but this is where my real interest lies..." He paused. "Genetics?"

"I knew from a young age that people wouldn't accept me, not when I was a telepath. And I tried to respect that. But I wanted to know why I was different - why Raven was different, too. She's a shapeshifter, and I found her one day... For a long time, her and that tree were the only friends I had."

"I'm glad you have more friends now," Erik answered.

"There's always room in my life for more?" Charles suggested, wondering even as he spoke whether that line was so terribly cheesy he'd frighten Erik away forever. Erik's answering grin certainly didn't look like he was frightened. He looked rather amused by this turn of events, hopeful even.

"So, I suppose this is our first date." Erik gestured to the coffee cups. "If you'd like it to be."

"I make it our second," Charles answered, projecting his hazy memory of the previous night. After a second he felt a wave of guilt - he knew some people hated telepathy being used without permission, he never should have done that. Erik answered with a broad smile, which showed a frankly unreasonable number of teeth.

"You should know, Charles, I'm not the kind of man who puts out until the third date."

"I'll keep that in mind," Charles grinned, only for his phone to buzz. He looked at it to find he had a message from Raven. 

_Made a new friend, we're going off to explore for a few days. She's not been to England before._ The message was accompanied by an image of Raven with her arm around a young woman with dark glasses. He held his phone up to Erik.

"This your sister?"

"Yup." Erik snorted. "She is. And at least we know they're in safe hands."

Charles paused. "So, it's a few days-"

"She's ditched me for the rest of our holiday," Erik agreed.

"Would you like a local to show you around?" Charles grinned, and Erik rolled his eyes with such affection that Charles almost felt giddy with it.

"Maybe a trip around the city can count as our third date?"

"I'd like that, a lot." Erik grinned, and Charles felt his heart thump in his chest.

***

The rest of the day was a delight - he showed Erik his favourite store for icecream, the strange and terrible taxidermy in the museum, and then as the sun set they punted along on the river, Erik showing a surprising talent for it. Charles had fallen in more than once during his earlier attempts, but Erik was a natural.

"You're using your ability."

"Charles, the boat and river bottom are not metal. They're wood and… some disgusting mixture of silt. I can hold onto the pole, and if I dropped it I could call it back, but that is the extent of my advantage."

"I think you just want to impress me."

"You can think that if you wish. Is it working?" Erik smiled as he said it, and Charles nodded, a little dizzy with affection at how Erik smiled. At how handsome he was. At how marvellous.

"Does this count as a third date yet?"

"No," Erik said firmly, laughing. "I have to not see you."

"You got coffee."

Erik rolled his eyes, but he stepped down from his platform, using his ability to hover the pole in midair, and walked across to Charles, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on his lips, then stepping away. "There you go. That'll have to do for now."

"If I push you in the water does that count as being apart?"

"No." Erik snorted, steering them back to the shore, and squeezing his hand. "I've had a wonderful day today, Charles. Are you free tomorrow?"

"I am," Charles agreed. He had a meeting with a couple of friends planned, but that could be put off - seeing Erik was far more important. "And that'll be a proper third date."

"I suppose so," Erik laughed, waving and walking off back to his hotel room. 

Charles returned to his room in college. He had just pulled off his shirt to shower when there was an irate knock on the door. He could feel Erik's mind there, frustrated rather than angry.

He pulled the door open. "Erik?"

"I hate my sister," Erik muttered, dragging in a case. "Apparently, she checked out of our room last night. Left my case for me to collect, but told the hotel I'd made other arrangements. They had no rooms free, and I really couldn't face searching for it so-"

"You can stay here," Charles said quickly. "That's why you came. You can stay here - I can take the sofa if you'd like, or we can share the bed - I'll be perfectly behaved, if you'd like that..."

Erik sighed, dramatically, and walked over to kiss him. "I think this counts as a third date, don't you?"

Wordlessly, Charles nodded, reaching for Erik's shirt. _I was just about to shower. Would you like to join me?_

Erik nodded, pulling away from the kiss. "I'd like that a lot."

***

It turned out that Erik's little sister choosing to vacate the hotel room early was a good thing, at least for Charles. He spent three days with Erik, and they were the most magical days he spent at Oxford - the stress and loneliness of study transformed by having someone else close, guiding him to seeing the city in a new light, in a new way. He found himself enjoying things he'd never thought he would.

The last day of Erik's visit, the two of them were settled side by side in Port Meadow, Erik floating a scrap of metal that had once been a drinks can in the air before them. Charles watched the ease with which he used his power, feeling his heart singing in his chest.

"You have to leave?"

"I have to leave. But I will look into visiting," Erik answered, pausing to kiss him. "And I am sure there are places in Düsseldorf that would love to hire a man such as you. Some of the European research on mutation is world-leading."

"You looked it up?"

"I wanted to know if you would be interested in coming. I don't have much to offer you, but my family would love you, and I know Emma would adore the chance to meet another telepath, and honestly we had best meet up for our sisters' sakes..." Erik sounded almost nervous, and Charles longed to embrace him, to tell him that he wanted to see him again. But he tried to behave and smile and nod.

"I'll look into it. I want to see you again, Erik."

"You will. We don't even need to worry about plane fares - Azazel will give you a lift as long as I make Janos some new jewellery." Erik laughed softly. "We'll see each other soon."

"I'll miss you," Charles murmured. Erik nodded, leaning in to steal another kiss.

"I can visit this weekend, if you want."

"Really?"

"Really," Erik promised, kissing him. "I can't wait to see you again."

"I can't wait to hold you..." Charles muttered. "My bed will be cold without you."

"You've only had me there for three days."

"Three excellent days," Charles answered. "I'll be waiting for you."

"I'll be there," Erik laughed, and pulled out his phone, dialling Azazel.

Even though Charles had seen photographs of Erik's brother, it was still a slight shock to see him standing there. He smiled politely and wished them a safe journey, and then started to walk towards home, his lips still tasting of Erik's kisses.

He crossed St. Giles, smiling to himself, trying to plan out what they could do that weekend. He needed it to be perfect. The sun was setting, and he decided it would be nice to have a meal at the Randolph - he'd have to make sure Erik brought a good suit.

He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't see the car shoot out from a side junction. He registered the panicked mind of the driver only a moment before he was flung into the air and the world around him went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are reading and enjoying, please do comment! It is so encouraging to have feedback, and I'd really appreciate it.


	4. Chapter 4

"You look happy, my boy." Edie smiled, walking forwards and wrapping her arms around Erik tightly. "Your trip was good?"

"Wonderful."

"And where is little Irene?"

"She ask to be picked up in a few hours," Azazel answered, his tail flicking slightly. "I not know why entire family think I am bus."

"We appreciate you a lot, Azazel." Erik smirked, knowing that for all his protests, Azazel would have been truly offended should they have chosen to get a plane instead. 

"Good. As you should. I do you great service, taking you on your trips."

"And we love you for it," Edie answered, embracing the oldest of her children with the same affection she had for Irene or Ruth. "Thank you. You must join us for dinner, but you can fetch Janos first if you'd like. I've made enough for both of you."

"You are good woman." Azazel returned the embrace, with none of the awkwardness he'd had when they first met. Over the past decade and a half, he'd grown used to his mother's affection. 

"So you tell me. I am sure it is only because you want more dessert," Edie teased, shooing Azazel away to fetch Janos and Irene and then turning to Erik. "Did you find out why Irene was so insistent you went then?"

"I met someone, Mama." Erik could feel the smile resting on his lips. "Someone who... I know I only knew them for a little while, but... I think I'm in love, Mama."

"Tell me about him?" Her voice was gentle, and he felt a flood of relief at the fact she knew that he spoke of a man and that she didn't seem to mind.

"His name is Charles. He's just done his PhD, and he's... he's..." Erik shrugged slightly, words failing him. "He's smart. And he's handsome, and he's so idealistic and naive at points I want to shake him. He's a mutant, and he studies mutation-"

At that, Edie's lips pressed into a thin line, and Erik squeezed her hand.

"He studies himself and others like us. With consent, and carefully. He wants to find ways to help us, not cure us but offer some form of control for those whose powers harm them, and... he's a telepath."

Edie sighed softly, knowing the hatred and harm that Emma faced. "You should get him to meet your sister."

"I will. I said I'd go back next weekend, if Azazel was willing..." He smiled to himself. "He is just... I don't know. I've never believed in soul-mates, but we... I've never met anyone who makes me feel the way he does."

"I'm glad you've found him," Edie answered. "Although I'm much less happy he gets you to himself next weekend, and I don't get to meet him yet."

"I told him about some research opportunities at Düsseldorf, and he said he'd look into it-"

"You really are serious about him, aren't you?" Edie smiled and shook her head. "I suppose I had best bake something special for you to take back."

"I'd like that." Erik hugged her fondly, then went to unpack his bag. Azazel dropped off Janos, who went to help in the kitchen, and Erik came down to find him and Edie deep in conversation, gesturing rapidly at each other.

"Everything alright?" Erik signed once Janos looked his way.

"Good. Just helping Edie with the cooking. She tells me you have a boyfriend."

"I'm too old for a boyfriend," Erik protested, hand up at his head before he moved his thumbs. 

"Future husband then. Irene seems to think you're destined."

"Maybe," Erik agreed, feeling himself flush a little, and he grabbed cutlery to set the table so that he didn't have to participate in the conversation any more. He couldn't stop smiling though - at the idea he and Charles were destined to be. Over the past four days, it had certainly felt like they were perfect for each other. He smiled to himself, putting on the kettle so that there would be coffee for Azazel's return, and then settled into a comfortable seat and waited, flicking through a book that Charles had lent him. 

Charles had mentioned a love of chess, and they had played a couple of games. He thought he might make a set for them, to match the piece he had been gifted so many years ago. He knew it might be a little forwards, but he wanted to design that set for him. He used his ability to call over a notebook and started to sketch. A moment later, a burst of smoke filled the air.

Azazel stood there, his tail swishing from side to side, a serious expression on his face. Irene wasn't with him.

"Az?" Erik got to his feet, unnerved by the look in Azazel's eyes, the pain that was there.

"You... you should sit down," Azazel told him, and Erik did so, his heart racing in horror at what could have happened - he'd been on holiday with Irene, he never should have let her go off on her own, she could have got mugged or... or worse. He shuddered. Irene had always refused to answer when he'd asked if she could see the deaths of those around her.

"I ... am sorry." Azazel sighed. "There was... an accident. Charles..." He frowned. "He will live, the doctors say. He was hit by car. Irene staying there, with his sister. She says you should come. Grab bag, for... for a few weeks."

Erik nodded, feeling sick. Charles had needed him, and he hadn't been there, hadn't been able to help him. Charles was so lively, so brilliant and beautiful and perfect. He'd spoken to him for years, exchanging those precious gifts, and now so soon after they had met Charles was injured? Erik didn't understand. Irene was meant to foresee these things. She should have warned him.

"Pack. We go immediately. Call me, any time, night or day. I will come get you, or take you back to him," Azazel offered, and that hammered home to Erik that whatever had happened - it was serious. This wasn't the kind of suggestion Azazel would normally make - he always claimed to transport people under protest. But here he was offering to take Erik back and forth, however many times he needed.

And Erik knew he had to go.

He packed quickly, almost carelessly, throwing in his possessions without really thinking, knowing he had a credit card and a phone and that all the time he was delaying by picking things was time that he wasn't at Charles's side. He grabbed his box of treasures, made sure it was secure in his luggage, and picked up the book Charles had given him. 

His mother leaned in his doorway. "You take as long as you need. We'll be here for you."

"Thank you, Mama." He placed his bag on his shoulders and nodded smartly at Azazel. Azazel stepped forwards and embraced him.

The world shifted, and he found himself in a parking lot, outside, in the dark. Azazel had appeared within a smoking shelter.

"They are inside. Irene said she'd give your name. I can't... I don't want to go inside." Azazel looked away, and Erik nodded in understanding.

"You've already done enough." He knew it was hard for Azazel, to be in public when his appearance always drew the eye. He managed a final smile and then Azazel was gone, and Erik was alone in the shelter. He stepped outside and approached the main doors, making his way over to a harried-looking receptionist.

She stared blankly as he asked for information about Charles Xavier, and he began to panic. What if he was in the wrong hospital? What if Charles wasn't here?

He could feel his mind starting to spiral, and he attempted to reach out, to feel Irene's jewellery, but the hospital around him was overwhelming, thick with metals of different kinds.

He almost wanted to collapse to the floor and sob, but he made himself stay strong, stay searching.

Eventually, after what felt like hours but couldn't have been more than a few minutes, he latched onto something. His sister's bracelet, and her cane. He rushed forwards and found her in amongst the crowd. Her face was damp with tears and she looked younger than she was. He swept her into his arms, and she sniffled.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't see... it was just luck, it couldn't... I didn't know. I'd have warned you-"

"I know." That, at least, he was certain of. She wasn't going to just let him suffer, not if there was any way she could have prevented it, not if there was any way she could have helped him. He pressed his face into her hair. "It wasn't your fault."

She nodded, shaking, and managed a weak smile. "Raven blames me. She says if we... if we hadn't left..."

Erik felt anger swell inside of him, but he tried to hide it. He knew it must be hard, but his sister was frightened and hurting and he wanted to protect her. "It wasn't your fault, Irene." As he spoke, he felt her relax, overcome with relief.

"Raven thinks it is."

"She doesn't know how your powers work." Erik tried to reason with her, making himself smile even if he didn't feel it, in the hope that it would somehow help her - that she would be able to tell that he was smiling. "It wasn't your fault. I promise."

"Thank you," she whispered, nuzzling against his chest, and even though he wanted to run to Charles, he made himself stay with her for a few moments longer. His sister needed him.

"I'll make sure it works out."

Irene nodded, shakily, and seemed to relax a little. Erik wondered if he'd done enough - if his sheer insistence had helped to smooth the timeline, ease Irene's future.

"Will you take me to him?"

Irene nodded, guiding him back down the corridor with a fair amount of confidence. They turned up another corridor, and a blonde woman rushed forwards, embracing Irene without seeming to notice Erik's presence.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I was awful to you."

"I never wanted Charles to get hurt, I promise," Irene murmured, looking heartbroken. "I... I got Erik. He should be here."

At her words, the other woman looked up to glare at him. "I don't think my brother's up to a quick shag right now."

"I... I want to see him," Erik said, trying to tell himself that this woman was hurting, that she was scared. He imagined how he'd feel if it was one of his siblings. He couldn't comprehend how frightened she must have been. "I won't hurt him."

"I found his phone," Raven interrupted, her eyes flickering a little. "He was trying to book a date for the two of you when it happened."

Those cold words sunk into Erik, making him feel as though he'd been doused with cold water. Raven was hurting, but she blamed him - for all he knew, Charles blamed him as well. What was meant to be something special was destroyed, and he wasn't sure he would ever have the chance to fix this - to get to see the man he was destined to be with. "I never meant - I came here immediately from Germany. I need to see him."

"I'll ask him." Raven sighed, and as she did so her skin seemed to shift, becoming a little paler. "But he might not want to see you."

His heart sunk, as he watched Raven approach the door and knock before she let herself inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment if you've got this far. I really want to hear what you think, and any comment would be good. Thanks :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for a lot of internalised ableism in this chapter - Charles is working through some things

Charles looked up a little as the door opened, cringing slightly in case it was another doctor come to bring more bad news. He felt like he was floating from the painkillers they were pouring into his body, but he could still use his ability, still hear the prognosis they didn't speak.

His eyes were still damp from crying after the last nurse's visit, when she'd kindly sent Raven from the room and fitted a catheter, and her thoughts had been full of the knowledge that this was his future. That he'd be relying on someone else's help to piss until he learned to fit it himself. 

He wanted to scream, to send them away, but he was dizzy and sick and he didn't want to risk Raven catching him in an even more humiliating situation. So he let it happen, and now he was lying in a hospital bed, trying to adjust to sensation only reaching half his body. His arm was grazed, his face was bruised and scraped, and one of his legs was broken.

At least the leg wouldn't hurt.

He laughed hollowly, fresh tears shaking down his face. He'd messed up. He'd known that junction was dangerous and he'd been too distracted - too in love - to pay attention. And he'd be paying for that mistake every day for the rest of his life.

There was another knock, and he couldn't bring himself to answer.

Raven let herself in anyway, switching to her blue form the moment they were alone, and made her way over to the seat beside his bed. "Erik's here."

"What?" Charles frowned. There was no way Erik could be here. Erik wouldn't want to see him.

"He came immediately, apparently. I can send him away if you want," Raven offered, and she shrugged as she spoke, smiling at him with a kindness he was sure he didn't deserve. He knew if he asked her to, she'd keep Erik away. 

"Thank you," he whispered.

"How was it?"

"It's bad," he whispered. "They're not telling me, but... I can hear it. I can hear their thoughts, and it's... it's not good. They don't think I can walk again..." He shuddered, biting back a groan of pain. "They're talking months of recovery, and that's... that's not for walking, that's for... whatever the fuck they're able to get me to do..." He felt tears beading in his eyes and tried to blink them back.

"Okay." Raven reached out and squeezed his hand, and he could see she was shaken, but she was being strong.

"Is Irene... is she still here?"

"Yeah." Raven agreed. "She's with Erik. I... I yelled at her but she stayed."

"That's good," Charles mumbled, aware his words sounded slurred. He was exhausted and dizzy and disoriented, and he wanted to curl up in bed and cry. 

Raven smoothed his hair out of his face.  
"You look a mess," she informed him, and he nodded, not even in the mood to joke about what was going on. She gave him time to reply and shook her head softly when he didn't. "I'm going to call your stepfather and mother tonight. But you're a student here, your bills are covered, and I won't let them get to you."

"You should go home."

"I am not leaving you, you idiot." Raven glared down at him. "I'm going to help you. Because right now you need all the help you can get. And Irene.... I've never felt like this with someone. And if… if this works out, the way that she thinks it will, I'm going to need you there to take me down the aisle."

"I can't walk."

"We'll get you a wheelchair," Raven snapped, and he could tell how scared she was and how hard she was fighting to be brave for him. He was grateful for that. He knew he was going to need her, even if he wanted her to leave. He felt desperately alone. 

"You need to call Hank. Tell him I can't get in the lab..." he shuddered. "And he's gonna need some lower workbenches..."

"I can do that later," Raven muttered, staying at his side, and Charles could tell how scared she was - he wasn't trying to read her mind, but the drugs made it harder to stop, and anyway it was obvious. "I'm here with you now."

"I don't..." He sighed, wanting to scream. "I can hear the rest of the patients. There's so many thoughts here. So much... so much fear." He looked up at her, and she squeezed his hand with a tenderness he wasn't sure he deserved. He shuddered. "The doctors know I won't walk again. They tell me it's not certain, but they know."

"Alright." Raven didn't try to argue with him, and he was vaguely aware he'd already told her this, that the awful life-shattering news had gone past his lips more than once but - he couldn't focus. He couldn't think, not of anything other than the situation he was in, and the pain that had occurred, and the pain that was to come. He knew the drugs he'd been given were making him dizzy, but he was fairly sure that wasn't all of it - that he was dizzy because of everything, because of what had happened.

"I won't walk."

"No, you won't," Raven answered and squeezed his hand, and he looked up at her - he'd always been taller than her, and he wasn't any more. She stared down at him, then cleared her throat. "What do you want me to do about Erik?"

"He doesn't want to be here. You... you can send him away."

"And if he doesn't want to go?" Raven asked, as though such a thing was thinkable, as though Erik might want to stay - he knew how it would play out. Erik would waltz back to his life and forget about Charles, maybe hold on to a handful of memories of a good weekend. But he'd move on. And he'd leave Charles behind.

Charles shook his head weakly. "He'll want to go. Tell him... tell him I understand."

Raven frowned but she nodded, then squeezed his hand again, and he loved her for not arguing at that moment. He whimpered slightly as movement sent a sharp shot of pain through him. "I'm so tired."

"Get some sleep," she told him, brushing her fingers through his hair. "I'll handle your family, and talk to Hank - I'll make sure he leaves your position open, and I'll get Erik to leave." She smiled at him and gave his hand one final squeeze before she walked away, and he understood - she was doing everything she could for him. It wasn't going to be enough, and they both knew it. But she, at least, wouldn't walk away.

He let the tiredness the drugs caused overtake him. It felt like there was no point in struggling, in fighting to stay awake, not when he'd achieve nothing, not when everything was so much more than he knew how to manage.

Raven stayed until sleep claimed him. He was grateful for that.

His eyes flickered open, and he had a vague awareness that this wasn't the first time - that he'd opened them before, more than once, caught glimpses he hadn't understood. He frowned, trying to work out where he was, to locate the source of the beeping he could hear - and then it all came flooding back. The prognosis. How helpless he felt. How angry.

He wasn't alone in the room. Erik was sitting nearby, reading the book Charles had insisted he borrow during that brief moment when he'd thought they had found their forever.

Erik had come, and he knew it was so he could say goodbye. He didn't need to try and read Erik's thoughts for that. He groaned, the noise escaping him before he could form words, and Erik put the book aside.

"Charles? How are you feeling?"

"You can go." Charles tried not to look at him. If he looked at him, he was sure he would start crying and just humiliate himself further. "I don't mind."

"I promised Raven I'd keep an eye on you. She'll be back soon," Erik said, and he said it so normally.

"You don't have to stay," Charles mumbled, gesturing at the room around him. "I promise I won't run off and get into any trouble." He laughed, the noise harsh, bitter on his tongue. "I won't blame you."

"I'm happy to stay. I've got a room in the hotel nearby, so I can be here during visitor hours, help Raven and Irene and-"

"Why would you bother?" Charles interrupted, pressing his mind forwards out of anger and hopelessness. He was drunk on pain and drug addled, but he was angry enough that his power surged up anyway. "Why would you - I can't offer you anything. You do understand that, right? You'd be better off just putting me out of your mind."

"I feel like that's my decision," Erik answered, trying to breathe, and Charles knew he was hurting him but he couldn't bring himself to care. Maybe he could hurt Erik enough that he'd realise how bad a plan this was, how much danger he was in, what a mistake he was making.

He tore through Erik's thoughts, looking for disgust or resentment or anger, and found none.

He knew it would come. He had heard enough thoughts, and he knew... he'd seen the look on the nurse's face. This was it, for him. This was as far as it went. The trajectory his life had mapped out had come crashing to a halt. Boyfriends were out, being washed and dressed by a carer was in.

He started to sob, and he expected Erik to leave. He'd hurt Erik's beautiful thoughts, because he'd been afraid, because he'd been angry.

Erik reached out and rested a hand against his own.

"I need you to know, Charles, that I'm not going anywhere. Not if I can help it. You deserve that."

There was no reply that Charles could offer that wasn't simply crying or arguing, because he couldn't accept it. Didn't want to accept it. What Erik was offering was too much, too big, too terrifying. He didn't say anything for a moment, and then said the only thing he could to get Erik away.

"Can you please find Raven?”

Even asking that was humiliating.

Erik nodded and left, and Charles was alone with his thoughts once more. He didn't like that. His thoughts didn't make for good company, not right now. There was too much pain and fear and emptiness.

Alone in a hospital bed, he wept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has commented, and to InsertSthMeaningful for a wonderful beta. You are amazing!


	6. Chapter 6

Erik thought that no matter how long he lived, he would never forget his first glimpse of Charles in a hospital bed, looking pale and exhausted, half-unconscious because of the drugs he had been given. He looked helpless - and that was so very different from the man he knew that it was sickening. 

For days, his world shrunk to the steady beep of Charles's heart monitor, the hours of visiting routines, the steady delivery of meals. He helped the nurses where he could, Raven explaining he was Charles's boyfriend - and he owed her for that, for taking him seriously rather than throwing him out. He learned how to help Charles while Charles was unconscious, how to make sure he was clean, how to help him eat. He swapped out shifts with Raven, allowing her to rest.

He knew he should have been concerned - he'd not known Charles for long, and even Irene's certainty couldn't have prepared him for something like this. Instead, he felt more certain than ever. 

He stood by Raven's side as she shouted at the phone, watching Irene rub her shoulders, listening to Raven arguing with relatives who couldn't be bothered to visit.

And then, one day, almost a week after the accident, Charles woke up. And this time, he was lucid, aware of where he was and who he was with. And Charles had tried to send him away, said he had nothing to offer - as though his survival wasn't offer enough, as though the potential for a future smile wasn't all that Erik needed.

He held onto his hand and promised he would stay. He could tell that Charles was going to be stubborn about this, but he was determined to be just as stubborn back, to stand his ground because someone had to, and this was important.

"Can you please find Raven?" Charles asked, and he sounded so uncertain at that moment. Erik longed to embrace him, to help him. But he had to respect Charles's wishes. 

"I'll be back soon." He left Charles alone, tracking Raven by using the bracelet Irene was wearing.

"You're out?" Raven looked at him. "What happened?"

"He woke up and sent me away," Erik explained, and now that he was alone, he could allow himself to really feel the blistering headache that was building inside his skull. "He thinks I don't want him."

"It's not going to be easy," Raven pointed out. "He's hurting. He's going to fight you. And if you have any doubts at all, he'll find those thoughts, use them to send you away from him."

"I understand," Erik answered, because he did. He knew that Charles was afraid, but that didn't mean he was leaving. "I don't have doubts."

"But you will," Raven answered, and Erik fell silent, because he couldn't argue with that. He wanted to say that he was sure he was going to be alright, that nothing would change. But he was aware that was a lie. Everything had changed. Charles was never going to walk again, and he had to learn to deal with that. And Erik would have to learn to support him. 

Charles had already made it clear he wasn't going to be an easy patient. 

Erik squared his shoulders and looked her in the eye. "Having them isn't the same as acting on them. Go to him, if you can. I think he needs you."

Raven nodded, leaning in to embrace first Irene and then Erik, before she walked away.

Irene made her way to some nearby chairs with confident swings of her cane. Erik hesitated for a moment. "How is it looking?"

"I've seen worse," Irene told him. "The two of you... you care about each other, more than you could put into words, and that's a strong start. It's not going to be enough, not yet, and it's... you'll have a fight on your hands. But I've always known you were strong, Erik." She reached for his hands and squeezed. "You are what he needs. If you can survive the anger, and the fighting... if you can be there by his side, he'll come out much better."

"I can do that." Erik wrapped his arms around his baby sister, taking a few deep breaths in an attempt to control the emotions that were sweeping him. He was afraid. Worse, he was sure he was going to be afraid for a long time to come. But he wasn't going to back down. He'd deal with whatever Charles threw at him.

It wasn't long before Raven returned, her eyes damp with tears. She wrapped herself around Irene, sobbing quietly to herself, and then straightened up and looked Erik in the eye. "He didn't think we'd stay. And he's pretty angry. But he's said... he's said if you're still here, you can go and see him."

Erik left, returning to Charles's room. He knocked, before he pushed open the door. Charles smiled, propping himself up on his elbows, the same way he had done when they were in the park. "I didn't think you'd come."

"I came," Erik told him, willing to repeat it however many times he needed to hear. "I came, and I stayed. And I'll help you."

"I don't know... I don't know if I can do this," Charles admitted, shivering. Erik reached out and squeezed his hand.

"You can do this. I'm going to help. You'll learn. We'll learn." He leaned in, brushing his lips against Charles's cheek in a gesture of affection. Charles's eyes widened, and he leaned in, twisting his head slightly so their next kiss was a brief touch of lips.

"You're not planning to leave?"

"I'll stay," Erik promised. "I'll stay beside you, every step of the way."

Charles managed a wry smile up at him. "Well, you'd better do the stepping, Erik."

For a moment, he was about to fumble through an apology, but then he realised Charles was smiling, a cautious expression on his face as though he wasn't sure he was allowed to make that joke. And that sign of normality made Erik feel hopeful - more hopeful than he had felt for the previous week as he had skipped sleep in a constant vigil. Charles was awake. Charles was joking, even if he was a bit awkward about it. Charles hadn't sent him away.

The rest of it would fall in place. He was sure of it.

***

It turned out, he was right. It wasn't a quick transition, by any means - going from being in control of his own life to focusing on Charles. His day became dominated by Charles's therapy sessions, which he attended as often as Charles would permit - he would need someone to help him, and Erik wanted to learn. 

When Raven was attending or visiting hours were over, he worked on creating small pieces of jewellery which Azazel ferried home to his mother so that there was still an income coming in. He couldn't let himself just stop, even if he wanted to. But he spent as much time as he could with Charles, helping him.

He approached the hospital early one morning, his mind already full of hope. Charles had been getting more confident using a wheelchair, now able to transfer himself between bed and chair and able to get along corridors. He was reaching the steps when Charles's mind tangled with his own. 

_Hey._

_Hey yourself. How are you feeling?_

_What I can feel is sore,_ Charles answered quickly. 

_At least you're not sore all over_ Erik replied, before feeling a sudden spark of guilt. The brush of Charles's amusement eased it. He made his way to Charles's room to find him lying in bed, gazing up at the ceiling. He looked pale and exhausted.

"You look like shit."

"Thank you, Raven's already told me that." Charles groaned weakly. "I just... I'm not sure I can do this. I don't know if I can..." He shook his head after a moment. 

Erik nodded and sat down. "What was it this time?"

"Trying to get up and down kerbs," Charles answered, rolling his shoulders. "I just... I don't know if I can manage this, Erik. Not forever."

"You've managed so far," Erik reminded him, as gently as he could. He knew that trying to support Charles right now meant being on a knife edge, carefully balancing the amount of help he gave so that Charles didn't feel overwhelmed or abandoned. "That's a good sign."

"What if it's not enough?" Charles asked, and Erik smiled.

"Charles, a few weeks ago you couldn't get out of bed. The fact you're in the chair at all - you get yourself in it. That's good. Yes, you're exhausted. It's frustrating and repetitive and I know you want to escape and you can't. But it is something. You've already come so far."

"They're thinking about letting me go home," Charles interrupted. "I... I want to. But my uni room is no good - I'm sure they'll give me another one but..."

Erik concentrated, projecting an image of Raven's room as it now looked, complete with various handles to make it accessible, a stall in the shower, a spare bed set up with a desk nearby, rails around the house, one of the tables lowered.

"How?"

"I used my abilities." Erik looked at him shyly. "We knew you'd need somewhere to stay, and it seemed... just in case. I mean, I've made some adjustments to my house in Düsseldorf, but that seems a little premature."

"Düsseldorf?"

"You seemed interested in the idea of moving. It seemed like a good plan." Erik could see the excitement on Charles's face as he spoke. That all the fear and uncertainty he had felt about the future was at least momentarily overwhelmed by the fact that he had options opening up to him. "I hope it doesn't seem too premature. But I would like you to visit."

"No, I'd... I'd like that," Charles answered with an easy smile - an easier one than he had offered in a long time. "Thank you, Erik."

"It's alright." Erik shrugged. "I'll have you know, my mother is being very insistent on meeting you. She's hurt that we've been going out for a couple of months and she hasn't seen you yet."

"I've been in hospital!" Charles protested, and Erik laughed.

"I know, and so does she, but she doesn't feel that's a very good excuse."

"Is your mother just as stubborn as you are?" Charles asked, with a fond shake of his head. "I suppose I had best meet her, if that's… if that's what you both want."

"It is," Erik reassured, and he knew that Charles understood. Meeting his mother proved that what was happening between them was something he was serious about. That he was determined to see this through, and that he considered their relationship serious. The shy smile Charles offered suggested he felt the same way.

"Then I look forward to making her acquaintance," Charles replied, always the perfect gentleman. He muffled a yawn. "I have more therapy later."

"I can take a hint. Do you want me to get you a tea from the machine?"

Charles replied by pulling an exaggerated and pathetic face, gazing up at Erik sadly as though to ask why he could possibly be so cruel. Erik hesitated for a moment longer, before he smirked. "I'll go to that shop across the street."

"Thank you." Charles's answer was accompanied by the briefest brush of his mind, and Erik responded by focusing on warmth and affection as he headed off to get some tea. It was good to see Charles smiling again. There had been a period when he had thought that he wouldn't smile any more, and it was a relief to him to find himself proven wrong.

Irene had said they were meant to be together. Erik had never wanted to believe in ideas like soulmates, but he knew that if he could spend the rest of his life working on making Charles smile like that, he would have no regrets, because he would have spent his life as best as he could.


	7. Chapter 7

Charles hesitated a little in the door of what had been Raven's spare room and was now his bedroom. He had always planned to look out for his little sister, to keep her safe from the worst the world could throw at her. He had always intended to be the one who was helping, who was providing - he'd never expected to need her the way he did right now.

"Go in," Raven encouraged, and he could hear the nervousness in her voice. It was a relief to have escaped from the hospital, for the sound of every thought around him to no longer be deafening. He had felt like he was losing himself in there, surrounded by so many people's thoughts and concerns and terrors. Being here felt almost silent - he was able to hear his own thoughts with a clarity he had missed. He wanted to put that into words, to explain to Raven what it meant to him, but he didn't know where to begin.

She squeezed his hand gently. "It's okay. I've brought all the books on that pile you have to read, and I've got most of your other stuff... I tried to lay it out as much like your old room as I could..." Her voice shook a little, and Charles tried to get his head around the fact that his own room, his college room where he had entertained students and held seminars, was gone. It was somewhere he could never even reach, even having mastered bumping down the odd step. 

Raven looked so guilty, as though she had failed him, when it couldn't have been further from the truth. 

"Thank you, Raven." He made himself wheel into his room. It felt like a living space, somewhere he could feel comfortable rather than a hospital's examination table. 

"It wasn't just me. Erik helped a lot with the modifications," she explained. "We both... really wanted you to feel comfortable here." She shrugged a little, flicking her hair out of her face. "Plus he wants to impress you."

"I am impressed," he answered, reaching up for her hand. "I'm impressed by you. By the fact that you were able to achieve this. By everything you've done for me - no one would have blamed you if you had run. But you didn't. You helped me, you inspired me, you... I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you." He shook his head. "You and Erik both."

"That's good. I've invited him around for lunch - I'd have said earlier, but I thought you might want a little time."

Charles set about exploring the room, familiarising himself with the new layout - much like his room at university, but things had been lowered, made easier to reach. The desk didn't have a chair. 

"How did Erik seem? When he was sorting this?"

"Determined," Raven answered, not unkindly. "We wanted to give you something good. And making this somewhere you could work… somewhere you'd recognise... well, we both thought it would help, and Irene agreed."

Charles couldn't help smiling when his sister spoke of her partner. There was no denying the way the two young women fitted together, how happy they made each other. It gave him hope that he and Erik might pull through even this change. 

"Irene also suggested we get kebabs tonight."

"I knew I liked her."

Charles grinned, and his smile was matched by Raven. This was a long way from what he had wanted, but it was what he had to work with, and he was determined to make the best he could of the situation.

It scared him. But during his time in therapy, he'd started to feel a little less afraid, and knowing that Erik and Raven had prepared all of this helped as well, because it showed him that he wasn't going to be facing the future on his own. He went over to his desk to rearrange the books, and felt a sense of satisfaction as he did it - this was something that was familiar to him, something he knew and understood. This was his life as a scholar, not a patient.

He settled at his desk and began to flick through some journals Hank had had delivered for him, wanting to catch up on anything he'd potentially missed. It helped put aside his concerns until Erik knocked and then appeared with a broad smile, carrying a bag.

"What did you get?"

"Donuts and bagels," Erik answered. "We weren't sure if you'd feel ready to go out for lunch, but-"

"Thank you." Charles showed him through Raven's apartment to the kitchen table, then went to make tea for everyone as Erik set out the food and Raven and Irene sat in the corner, deep in conversation. 

Lunch was a little stilted. Part of Charles still expected Erik to turn around and declare that he was leaving, that Charles had nothing to offer him any more. The more rational part of his mind knew that wasn't the case, but it wasn't easy to ignore those thoughts at a moment like this.

Erik's mind nudged his own. 

_What?_

_You are always welcome in my thoughts. Irene said I should tell you honestly how I felt, so I'm just reminding you._

Charles stretched out into Erik's mind, ready to retreat at the first sign of discomfort. None was forthcoming. Instead, he could feel Erik's happiness and fondness for him, his loyalty and determination, and he knew he would admire that forever - the sheer inner strength and certainty which drove Erik. It was beautiful, the core of him.

"You okay, Charles?"

"You have a beautiful mind," Charles informed him, and Erik's answering smile was almost shy. 

Across the table, Irene cleared her throat. "Raven and I are going out for a long afternoon walk, we won't be back before dinner."

Charles looked between Erik's soft smile and Raven's put-upon expression, lingering for a moment on Irene's blush, and rolled his eyes before he reached out for Erik's thoughts. _I hope your sister knows that she isn't very subtle._

 _I am sure she does. I think that's part of the fun,_ Erik answered, but he waved the girls goodbye. And then Charles found himself alone with Erik for the first time since the accident. He suddenly felt painfully uncertain of himself. He could only think of all the ways this could go wrong.

And then Erik strode across the space between them and leaned in to kiss him deeply. Charles reciprocated, and after a moment Erik settled against his numb legs, the kiss growing more tender. He looped his arms around Charles's shoulders and smiled without pulling away or showing any fear.

_Erik?_

_You don't mind, do you?_ Erik frowned a little, gazing at him. "I think you're beautiful Charles. I always have. But if you're not comfortable with this... that's okay. We don't need to do anything you're not comfortable with."

"It's not that I'm not comfortable," Charles sighed. "I just... I don't know how much I can do." The doctors had talked about sexual function, and other things, but he hadn't wanted to listen. Not when he had been told he wasn't going to be able to have an erection the way he was used to, not when they wanted him to 'rethink what sex meant'. It felt like just another thing the accident had taken away.

"We can find out together," Erik answered. "And you're a telepath, right? So even if you can't feel your own body, you are welcome to experience my sensations. Emma said that might be better for you." 

Charles couldn't even find it in himself to be mortified that apparently his dysfunction had been the Lehnsherr family topic of conversation. "What if it doesn't work?"

"Then we try other things." Erik shrugged a little, as though it was that simple. "It's just the two of us at home, and I know I want to be in a relationship with you, whatever form that takes. If you want something different, that's okay, but if you want it too... we can try."

Charles managed a reluctant nod, nausea bubbling inside of him.

Erik guided Charles's hands to rest on his hips. "You want to stop, at any point, we stop. But... I want to spend... I want to stay with you, for as long as I can. And I know that means that at some point this is going to come up..."

 _Or not come up,_ Charles pointed out, managing a fragile smile. 

Erik rolled his eyes and leaned in to kiss him. _Shush._

 _Kissing doesn't shut me up, Erik. You realise this._

Erik pulled back, with a faint smile on his lips. "Maybe not, but I like kissing you." He gave him another quick kiss, then shrugged. "If you aren't comfortable having sex, that's okay. And we'll stop. But we've got to try sometime. Might as well be now, Irene seemed pretty insistent."

"Your sister is a troublemaker," Charles pointed out, daring to brush the fabric that rested on Erik's hips, tracing the path where his shirt and pants brushed, and allowing his fingertips to map out the softness there.

"So is yours. You can take my shirt off, if you'd like?"

"I'd like that," Charles agreed, guiding the fabric up and over Erik's shoulders, watching the muscle ripple. He'd had sex with him before, many times over the three days before everything changed, but he'd never looked this closely, never focused in quite the same way on brushing his fingers across the bare skin, watching the expression on Erik's face light up with pleasure. He circled his fingertips around Erik's nipples, then pulled back as Erik began to gasp.

"Do you want to take off my shirt?"

"I'd love to," Erik answered, leaning in for another kiss before he unbuttonedCharles’s shirt with practiced ease, and Charles closed his eyes, leaning into the touch, shivering as Erik's fingertips brushed lower against his skin, then reached the point where sensation stopped. He could see that Erik was touching him, but he could no longer feel it.

He shuddered, eyes closed, wondering if he could go through with this. It felt wrong, different, awful.

Erik's lips on his own brought him back to reality. "Charles?"

"I'm… I can't feel there," Charles mumbled. "A bit higher." 

"Here?" Erik asked, brushing his fingers along the right point, then leaning in and pressing brief butterfly kisses there. "Do you think we can take this to the bedroom?"

Charles hesitated for a moment before he nodded. He felt safe with Erik, and he wanted this. It didn't feel like it had sounded in hospital, didn't feel clinical or odd. It just felt like being taken care of, and taking care of Erik. He let Erik move his chair over to the bed with his ability, but he transferred himself over using his own strength. He propped himself up on the pillows, so that he was sitting up, and after a moment Erik straddled him, leaning in to kiss him again.

"We good?" Erik asked, and Charles nodded, his hands running down Erik's back. He hesitated, glancing down, to find that his body was being particularly unhelpful - unlike a few embarrassing moments at the hospital, it appeared the pleasure he was feeling had not managed to bridge the gap and get him hard.

He bit his lip and looked away. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Erik tilted Charles's head back towards him. "Don't be sorry. I want this. I want you, and we'll work it out. If you... if you want to stop, we can stop. If you don't want to stop..."

"I don't want to stop," Charles agreed after a moment, thinking through various possible configurations, trying to work out what would give the most effective result. He certainly wouldn't be able to maintain an erection at the moment - there were tablets and things, but that felt like a problem for another day. And he felt too fragile to let Erik fuck him. He settled on an idea, pushing the thought to Erik - Erik straddling him, rocking against him as Charles stroked him off and made him feel good.

Erik answered in a moan, pressing a kiss to the side of Charles’s neck. "Sounds incredible."

"You want it?"

"I do. You want to be in my mind?"

Breathless, Charles nodded, allowing his mind to tangle with Erik's own as he carefully undid the man's pants, pushing them down, and guided Erik's boxers down. Erik's own erection pressed up into his touch. Charles swallowed down a brush of bitterness - Erik stayed, Erik wanted him. Erik loved him. As he reached deeper into the man's mind he could register the truth of that statement, Erik’s sheer devotion which seemed to be calling to him. 

They kissed again as Erik called over lube, pressing it to Charles's hand. Having slicked his hand, Charles began to stroke him firmly, matching the pattern to the stuttering thrusts of Erik's hips, using their entwined thoughts to see what was feeling best for him, focussing on Erik's pleasure as well as his own.

It wasn't long before Erik climaxed at his touch, resting his head on Charles's shoulder. Charles cleaned them both with some tissue, before rubbing his hand down Erik's spine, guiding him close. "You with me?"

"I'm with you," Erik answered, managing a cheeky grin. "Right here, not going to go anywhere..." He shivered a little, leaning in to nuzzle his face against Charles's own. "How was that for you?"

"Good," Charles murmured, beginning the awkward process of lying down. Once he was comfortable, he guided Erik to curl up against him, Erik's head resting on his shoulder. "I'm with you. It's good."

Erik's hand tangled with his own. "I'm not going anywhere."

***

"My mother is going to love you, Charles," Erik told him firmly. Charles could tell how much Erik believed that. He'd finally managed to get an entire week off from therapy sessions, and that meant he was finally ready to meet all of Erik's family. There was an interview he had arranged at the university, to see if there was some part time lecturing he could do - he didn't feel ready yet to uproot everything, but with frequent travel between Düsseldorf and Oxford possible he wanted to try. Most of all, he wanted to try for Erik, who had helped him feel like himself again after he'd almost lost sense of who he was.

He could feel Erik's anxiety, the constant awareness Erik had of the small metal ring in his pocket. He knew Erik was waiting for the right moment, didn't want Charles to feel rushed, and Charles would have told him it was too soon if it wasn't for the link between them, the certainty that they would be alright as long as they were together.

He reached up, taking Erik's hand in his own and squeezing gently. "Erik?"

"Hmm?"

"That question you're worrying so loudly about. My answer's yes."

Erik hesitated, then leaned in for a kiss. "Are you sure?"

"We'd better get up the aisle before Raven and Irene manage," Charles teased, and Erik nodded, running over to their bags. Neatly folded shirts went flying until he found what he wanted and rushed back with a velvet box. He knelt in front of Charles, holding it up and gazing into his eyes. 

"Let me introduce you to my family as my fiancé?"

Charles was afraid. But he could feel the certainty in Erik's mind, and he was sure that this, at least, was the right choice. He nodded, taking the ring and placing it on his hand, feeling it adjust minutely as he did so. Erik kissed his hand and stood up just as a burst of sulphur entered the room.

"Thank you, Azazel. It's time for us to go home now," Erik greeted his sibling, reaching out to take hold of Charles's hand. Charles could feel his ring warm a little at Erik's touch.

"Hey, Azazel?" he asked, with a shy smile. "I don't suppose you'd be able to fetch something from my old home, would you? It's just... it was the first gift that Erik ever got me. And I'd like it back. Not yet. But one day." There was no point anymore, in leaving it as a tie to an old life. Not when he had a new life now, a better one. One that was his own. He smiled down at the ring.

"It can be wedding present," Azazel offered, and Charles found himself smiling in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has commented, to InsertSthMeaningful for betaing, and to Ruquas for prompting this fic for MTH. All comments appreciated so very much!


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